Yes, before anyone asks, I actually love Eurovision and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It's so rubbish and cheesy it's brilliant! I haven't missed a single contest since 1999 and even though my faith in that our nation will somehow win the contest has faded and that the contest has become more about how many neighbours are willing to vote for them, you can't beat watching a bunch of loons in silly costumes singing in a language you can't understand.
This year's contest will be held in the Serbian capital of Belgrade, and ahead of tonight's first semi-final and the final show this Saturday, here's my verdict on all 43 entrants:
Key: Country - (Artist - "Song title") Verdict and score
Albania - (Olta Boka - "Zemrën E Lamë Peng") Typical South-East European ethnic ballad. 5.5/10
Andorra - (Gisela - "Casanova" ) I turned it off after the first 10 seconds. 0/10
Armenia - (Sirusho - "Qele, Qele") Not bad if not for the slightly weak lyrics. 6/10
Azerbaijan - (Elnur & Samir - "Day After Day") That falsetto would probably give Matt Bellamy a run for his money. 4/10
Belarus - (Ruslan Alenho - "Hasta La Vista") The guy looks like he loves himself. 6/10
Belgium - (Ishtar - "O Julissi") Weird little tune but strangely intriguing, I like. 6.5/10
Bosnia & Herzegovina - (Laka - "Pokušaj") Strange to say the least, shame the chicken won't be making an appearance. 6/10
Bulgaria - (Deep Zone & Balthazar - "DJ, Take Me Away") Apart from the gratuitous record-scratching it's actually a good dance/pop song. 7/10
Croatia - (Kraljevi ulice & 75 cents - "Romanca") Sounds a bit more like a French entry than a Croatian one. 6/10
Cyprus - (Evdokia Kadi - "Femme Fatale") A pleasant surprize considering Cyprus usually inflicts bad soppy ballads upon our sorry ears, a bit fun and quirky even though I can't understand a single word. 6.5/10
Czech Republic - (Tereza Kerndlová - "Have Some Fun") More of an entry for the male vote than for music fans. 5/10
Denmark - (Simon Mathew - "All Night Long") I should probably like it but I don't, no substance there really. 3/10
Estonia - (Kreisiraadio - "Leto Svet") A weird sight to behold (there's basically 3 fat middle-aged blokes with some flag-waving totty behind) but strangely likable. 6/10
Finland - (Teräsbetoni - "Missä Miehet Ratsastaa") Another Lordi-esque offering. The riff sounds familiar but I imagine the metalheads will love it. 6.5/10
France - (Sébastien Tellier - "Divine") The French actually have a good entry song! So catchy and cheery, if this doesn't win or at least do well then I have no faith in man! 9/10
F.Y.R. Macedonia - (Tamara, Vrcak & Adrijan - "Let Me Love You") Sounds like some really bad R&B track from about 6 years ago. 2/10
Georgia - (Diana Ghurtskaia - "Peace Will Come") How patronising! 4/10
Germany - (No Angels - "Disappear") A pretty bland song by four slightly ropey-looking ladies. 5/10
Greece - (Kalomira - "Secret Combination") Blatant Timbaland rip-off, and quite a good rip-off at that, 6/10
Hungary - (Csézy - "Candlelight") Slow, boring, sickeningly soppy, a no from me. 3/10
Iceland - (Euroband - "This Is My Life") The guy is freaky to say the least, the song wouldn't be out of place in a cheesy disco. 5/10
Ireland - (Dustin the Turkey - "Irelande Douze Pointe") Still funny after I dunno how many times I've listened to this, wonder what Sir Terry will think of that wig line... 8/10
Israel - (Boaz - "The Fire In Your Eyes") Soppy ballad, I would probably like it more if I could understand what he was saying. 4/10
Latvia - (Pirates Of The Sea - "Wolves Of The Sea") Some sort of bad Pirates of the Caribbean act. 3/10
Lithuania - (Jerominas Milius - "Nomads In The Night") Basically a skinny Meatloaf tribute act, but minus the rock. 4/10
Malta - (Morena - "Vodka") Basically sounds a dance version of the Zorba dance, makes you feel like wanting some vodka while listening to it. 5/10
Moldova - (Geta Burlacu - "A Century Of Love") A bit meh really, nothing much to say about this song. 4/10
Montenegro - (Stefan Filipovic - "Zauvijek Volim Te") Not bad sort of rock/pop song, nice hair I have to say. 6/10
The Netherlands - (Hind - "Your Heart Belongs To Me") Catchy song, very likeable, I've got a real soft spot for the Dutch really... 6.5/10
Norway - (Maria - "Hold On Be Strong") Quite a cool pop song, not much going on but it's pretty good. 6.5/10
Poland - (Isis Gee - "For Life") Really boring, really boring... 3/10
Portugal - (Vânia Fernandes - "Senhora Do Mar (Negras Águas)") Not a bad ballad, the lady looks like the princess off Shrek when she's an ogre though. 5/10
Romania - (Nico & Vlad - "Pe-o Margine De Lume") Snore... 2/10
Russia - (Dima Bilan - "Believe") Rubbish, apparently there's credits from Timbaland on this entry. 3/10
San Marino - (Miodio - "Complice") Not a bad song but not very catchy either. 5/10
Serbia - (Jelena Tomaševic feat. Bora Dugic - "Oro") Soppy ballad, nicely done but pretty boring. 6/10
Slovenia - (Rebeka Dremelj - Vrag Naj Vzame) Usual Euro-dance/pop there... 5/10
Spain - (Rodolfo Chikilicuatre - "Baila El Chiki Chiki") Is this guy for real? Either way he's a total gimp! 1/10
Sweden - (Charlotte Perrelli - "Hero") The bird looks like she's had work done (cough cough) since she won the contest in '99, good song though. 7/10
Switzerland - (Paolo Meneguzzi - "Era Stupendo") Yet another boring, soppy ballad, as if there isn't enough soppy ballads in this contest... 3/10
Turkey - (Mor ve Ötesi - "Deli") A decent rock effort there, aside from the cheesy dance entries they usually churn out. 6.5/10
Ukraine - (Ani Lorak - "Shady Lady") Not bad, but I imagine a lot of males will be voting... 6/10
United Kingdom - (Andy Abraham - "Even If") We. Don't. Have. A. Chance. 5/10
As you can see, there's a lot of soppy ballads this year! And by the way, I'm not being xenophobic or anything like that by saying I don't like a song because it's in another language, for me lyrics are an integral part of a song and it doesn't help me getting into a song if I can't understand what they're singing about. If you want to see and hear the entrants for yourselves, here's a link to all the songs - 
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